You're right to think that meditation might be a useful approach here. I vaguely remember going back and forth with you about it before, so forgive me if I repeat myself, but what you describe is a frustratingly common experience. There are very very few people who manage to find true value in mediation in those early stages. The feeling jittery and as though your mind can't turn off truly are part of the process and something you very gradually improve on. But overcoming "the monkey mind" entirely is something even seasoned meditators can't manage in any permanent way. That said, mediation has been one of the most life-changing pursuits I've ever explored and there's no one I wouldn't recommend it to. Thanks for sending this one in, Shanti! And so sorry anxiety is such a force in your life, too!